The Pig and I

Alright... I'm going to say it, but I'm only going to say it this one time. I tried to find a way around it tonight and was unsuccessful. So I apologise in advance if you get sick when I say it. Miracle Whip. Yes, that's right. Miracle Whip. The most foul, unnatural substance. I have always said that people who claim this is a replacement for mayonnaise are crack-smoking heathens. Unfortunately, I was right about that. I got saddled with a bottle of Miracle Whip a few years ago. I really hate throwing food, and food-like approximations, away so I found one use for it: it's great, slathered on a chicken pre-roasting, to help crisp up the skin. I'd mixed it with avocado, and despite the flak I caught from everyone before the chicken came out of the oven, I'd been right that whatever unnatural thing Miracle Whip is would work for this specific job (and no other). You have to understand, I hate mayonnaise. And Miracle Whip, the supposed substitute, is so foul as...

Does this make sense to you? I'm getting frustrated. Maybe I just need a break? I've had enough. Let's eat the book!

3-in-1 today... Woo. Today appeared to be, "I am too freaking tired from trying to learn half a semester's worth of integrals in two days to not sit in the kitchen and destress a bit." Enter, Russian Apple Pie, otherwise known as "apple cake." A delicious treat that takes so little to make and provides such a wonderful, love-filled reward. Every bite is paradise. I learned about apple cake when some Russians I knew asked me if I could make an apple pie. I said yes, and appeared some time later with an apple pie. The Russians were confused. Apparently, what we Americans think of (is it us?) apple pie is about as far from what they think of as is possible. The "pie" was described to me. It sounded like a more pudding-ish version of pineapple upside down cake, except with apples. So I hunted around on the internet until I found one whopping recipe (now I see there are dozens out there), on some obscure site I've now lost, written by a wonderful, g...

Ok, so in fairness, this is not exactly a normal shepherd's salad. I added some stuff. But it's how I like them best, so there you have it. 1 cucumber, peeled, and cut into big chunks (I leave the seeds in; you do what you like) 1 medium red bell pepper, cut into big chunks 2 scallions, cut into 1/2" long pieces 1 medium tomato, cut into big chunks 3 stalks celery, cut into 1" long pieces 2 teaspoons dried oregano (if you have fresh, use it. I have some I dried from my old garden, and I am scared to plant it here since it truly is a weed), crushed 2 tablespoons fresh parsley, torn up 1/4 cup fresh mint, torn up large handful kalamata olives, pitted* 2-3 ounces fresh feta, crumbled (in this instance, I have a French feta) 2 tablespoons lemon juice 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil salt and pepper to taste (optional) sumac for sprinkling on individual portions (meaning I didn't put it in the whole salad) Combine everything and stir. Chill, or not...

I've been having some weird problems with hummus lately. Weird as in, no matter what I do, the hummus comes out wrong. So I decided to pray to the hummus gods and give it one more shot before retiring my bag of chick peas forever. Thankfully, they heard my pleas and allowed me to make a fabulous batch of hummus this time. The pita I also made, but I used this recipe (not being a talented enough baker to make up my own bread recipes). In my oven, they required almost 20 minutes of baking time rather than the 10 specified. These pita are absolutely delightful, though. If any is left by tomorrow, I might fill one (they puffed up so beautifully!) with any hummus (if there's some left, though at the current rate, there might not be) remaining and take it to school with me. Hummus (hummus bi tahini) 1/2 cup chick peas, picked through and rinsed water, water and more water 1 teaspoon salt 2 medium cloves garlic (I used 1 large and 1 small) 1-2 tablespoons tahini* juice of ...

No recipe today, per se. I just wanted to talk about my snack boxes. When I know I'm going to be somewhere for a long time, I generally bring a snack box. Being hypoglycemic means I actually have to pay attention to how often I eat (which I am occasionally lax about, for which my body punishes me). Loving food gives me the inclination to eat as often as possible. Since I'm a huge fan of snacking, I have spent a lot of time coming up with what I consider to be "the perfect snacks" and combinations of snacks. Below is one of my favourites of the perfect snack combinations. I usually pack roughly the same things in my snack box these days. I've found this particular combination of foods has enough variety to keep me full and energized for a pretty good length of time, even when my activities are more grueling. The box I use is really similar to this one at the Container Store . In fact, the one in this picture is nicer than the ones they used to sell, and only 50 c...

Ok, I have a lot to say about vinegar, mainly because I'm a little obsessed. So I'm going to try to keep it short(er). I really love vinegar. Everything about vinegar. I love how it cleans just about everything, I love how I can wash my hair with it (for a little less than a penny per wash, as opposed to paying for shampoo). I love the smell of vinegar, and I love making vinegar and baking soda volcanoes, I love its odor-absorbing properties and I love that if I spray it, Aleister stays out of the room for a little while and doesn't try to get whatever I'm into. But more than anything, I love the myriad ways it can be used with food. I love a splash of Asian vinegar (I flit between rice vinegar, coconut vinegar and plum vinegar in this context) can liven up a stir-fry (keep your nose from the fumes!). I love a drizzle of vinegar on veggies I intend to roast. I love salads, and salad dressings. I love making infused vinegars. Mostly because it's fun, it's a nic...

I was accepted today to the Foodie Blogroll . For people who enjoy reading food blogs, this is an excellent resource. It houses a large collection of food blogs, listed alphabetically. I've discovered some really amazing blogs due to its presence, so I encourage y'all to check it out!

As you can see, I'm really stalling on my calculus. Today, I snacked on cheese, salami and lupini beans. P texted me on his way home from school to see if I wanted him to pick up some fast food before he arrived. I said I'd start the oven instead. I wanted something that required a minimum of effort from me, because although I'm poking along with my calculus, I am still trying to get it done. I didn't want to have to give up too much time to the kitchen. 12 brussels sprouts, cleaned, washed and cut in half 1 cup (or so) celery, cut into 1" pieces 1 cup (or so) baby carrots, cut in half (or just cut normal carrots into chunks) 6 bulb onions, de-greened and cut in half ( the vidalia-style one ) 6 cloves of garlic, cut in half or into large bits salt and pepper to taste healthy sprinkle of sumac 1 tablespoon citrus vinegar* 1 tablespoon each: vegetable oil, olive oil 8 ounces campanelle 2 quarts water large pinch salt 3 tablespoons butter 1 tablespoo...

The first time I touched uncooked shrimp, I was either 5 or 6. I'm not sure which age, I but I am sure it was when we lived in Lake Elsinore. We had these raw shrimp my father intended to cook, and for some reason I (I don't remember my siblings taking part of this, though it could simply be that I was so engrossed in my own trauma I neglected to notice theirs) had to clean them. I will never forget how disgusted I was as I pulled the poop out of each and every shrimp. A huge metal bowl full of them, one at a time, my hands went into cold, cold running water. I remember them being numb a little, and I remember wondering if I would ever finish cleaning the shrimp. I also wondered if I'd been born to do the gross jobs. I wanted to hate the shrimp, for being so gross. But how could I hate anything that tasted so amazing? Over the years, I've spent most of my cooking life buying pre-cleaned shrimp. I guess I never really recovered from that first experience. Sometimes, th...

I have completed a whopping 32 out of 119 algebra problems, and 0 of 59 calculus problems. Lazy, lazy. A quick favourite: 2/3 cup moroccan couscous 1 cup broth 6-10 sliced sun-dried tomatoes Put broth and tomatoes in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil. Add couscous, stir and remove from heat. Let it hang out for 5 or 10 minutes. Eat. Serves 1-2.

As a food creativity reward for making it through these two exams, I made this for the June challenge of No Croutons Required . They have a monthly themed competition. This month's challenge was to make a soup or salad (vegetarian) containing beans. Typically when I make bean salad (to which I get to hear from P, "Beans AGAIN?"), it's a southwestern-style salad. This time I just wanted something... else. Something that didn't involve corn, and did involve eggs. I really like eggs, especially hard boiled. This salad tastes good still warm and chilled. Anyway, enough babble. I've got piles of homework to do, so I'll just post the recipe and move along with it (and look - I'm using fractions today!). 1/2 cup appaloosa beans (you can replace these with pinto or cranberry beans, or whatever other beans you like) 3 cups water pinch each (3g): oolong whole-leaf tea (I used tieguanyin), jasmine tea 1 tablespoon kosher salt 1/2 cup celery, stalks cut i...

In all honesty, I don't think of this as a "salad," even though I suppose it meets the criteria for pasta salad. I think of it as an easy, delicious means of using up leftover pasta (leftover pasta? How can that be? Well, in truth, I always make extra pasta to make sure I'll have some leftover). I started eating this when I was 9 or 10. Maybe as late as 11. I'd be hungry, and there'd be "nothing to eat" in the fridge. Except leftover pasta. We ate so much meat sauce and pasta after my parents split up there was always leftover pasta in the fridge. My mother one day told me it was good mixed with lemon pepper and mayonnaise. Now, if you've seen me eat, you've also seen me go to great lengths to navigate away from anything containing mayo. The only two exceptions to this rule are the pasta salad I posted before, and tuna salad. And I always make them as dry as possible, because I just detest mayo. It's thick and fatty and it feels too...

I say, "in a manner of speaking," because there is breaded chicken, there's cheese, and there's tomato sauce. However, as a generally strictly-from-scratch kind of girl, I can't in fairness call this a proper chicken parmesan, since I used some pre-made ingredients. Like uh... pre-breaded chicken. So just go with it. I'm in the middle of prepping for an exam about things I only marginally understand, and I'm about to take another test. So I feel pretty good about the fact that I didn't go to McDonald's again, even if what I made only marginally counts as cooking (imo). 1 pound pre-breaded chicken breast (or you could always do this the right way and bread it yourself) 3 grams (that's .1 ounce, or in other words, just a little bit) each: dried lobster and pine mushrooms 1 cup warm water 1 8-ounce can tomato sauce 1 clove garlic 1 anchovy, or .25 teaspoon anchovy paste pinch sugar .5-1 teaspoon italian seasonings 2-4 ounces shredded par...

Ok, I bit off a lot this semester. Not more than I think I can handle, but definitely more than I'd be able to deal with if P wasn't here for me to nag constantly with questions. Why? Why? Why? He keeps reminding me that the whys will be answered in a couple years (ok, in reality, he keeps reminding me some of my questions might not ever get answered, but that most of them, at this point at least, will be eventually). I am impatient. I want to know everything about math. Now. All this has resulted in fourteen hour days, when I'm lucky. And I'm still working on the weekends (where, sadly, I screwed my knee up and it is now full of Kool-Aid, or some other fluid. You'd think I'd've learned to use care when walking after having just recovered from a sprained ankle, but I evidently have not learned this very important lesson). So today I did not get to play Final Fantasy XI, as planned. I did get to do some homework, though. And an exam review. So we were hu...

So rarely do P and I eat a meal where the meat is just.. meat. Not a minor component to the meal, but the main attraction. But today we had some lovely, thin, bone-in pork chops that had a really good amount of fat left on them, and I decided to braise them. The first time I was in college, I was beyond broke; living exclusively on a small amount of financial aid in a one-bedroom ghetto apartment that contained two people aside from myself. My tv was given to me by a neighbour who was throwing it away. It still had dials for the channels, and this was in the later 90s. Same with my melmac dishes - a hand-me-down (I wish I still had those dishes). Someone gave me a dinner table, and some chairs. My neighbours were really quite generous to me. My microwave was given to me, and I think my entire living room set was battered, but a great deal at a hundred bucks. I had to save up for it. I ate "salads" comprised of 2-3 leaves of torn up romaine with a teaspoon of white vinegar...

I had no idea how much homework I was really going to have this semester. It's a lot more than I thought. And when I say, "A lot," what I really mean is, "Well, I've been at school since 8am, and I hope I'm done with all my homework before school tomorrow." But I'm having fun. In light of all the math I'm doing this evening, I decided to go with a really low-effort dinner (in addition to the frozen burritos P and I snacked on while I was finishing part 2 of 7 of homework sections). Enter mujadarra. Mujadarra is a Lebanese dish - lentils and rice. It's delicious. And doesn't require a lot from me. Even better! 2 medium onions (I used one regular yellow and one Vadalia) 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 teaspoons salt .5 cup lentils .5 cup rice 1.75 cup water 1 tablespoon each: chopped fresh mint, chopped fresh parsley 1 lemon cut in half Dice an onion. Slice the other onion into rings. Heat a pan and add half the olive oil. Add and fr...

I actually have a bit more homework than I anticipated, so today I just want to tell you guys about gems. It appears that no one really knows what gems are anymore, but back in the 1800s they were a popular, if heavy, treat. So much so, that many pioneers even found room in their wagons to bring a gem pan. By the early 1900s, gems had fallen out of favour and most people just went with muffins. It's a sad, sad thing, really. Traditionally, gem pans were made from cast iron. You can still find beautiful, old cast iron pans on eBay. In fact, aside from scouring antique shops hopefully (and often fruitlessly), eBay is the only place I know that routinely "carries" them. You can find a proper gem pan for as little as US$5, and I've seen them as much as US$300. You just never really know. My advice, however, is to find one that's shallow, made in the mid-1800s (this is when the pans were really in their prime, quality-wise), and in extremely poor condition. I say to fi...

One more little bit of camping food, and then I'll move on to other things. Technically, I did not grill the vegetables. I cooked them on a hot rock. But since I find it more likely that people reading this will own a grill than a hot rock, let's just go with the whole grill thing. 1.5 pounds filet 1 teaspoon each: whole cumin seeds, lemon zest, orange zest, italian spices, peppercorns, salt 3 tablespoons olive oil 1 zucchini, sliced lengthwise into 6 planks 1 bell pepper, cut into 6 pieces 6 button mushrooms, cut in half 1 large onion, cut into 6 rounds 3 lemons, halved Slice filet into .25"-.5" rounds. Crush the cumin, zests, italian spices, peppercorns and salt in a mortar (or use pre-ground. I've just been really into the mortar and pestle lately, so I'm crushing everything I can get my hands on, and I've been only buying whole spices recently). Mix olive oil in, then slather all over the beef. Let it marinate at least 2 hours, or as much a...